#40 Let It Be
While it’s all still fresh in her mind and heart, Kelly turns on the mic to share a new story about what just happened last night.
Prepare to have a Beatles song stuck in your head for the next few days.
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Read the Transcript for this Episode below:
Episode 40 of the project me podcast. Hi guys. I am sitting here still in my PJs with a bed head and I'm processing what's just happened. Normally these episodes are recorded long after I've had time to process and make sense of them But I was meant to be recording a podcast conversation this morning with Helen Joy Butler in Australia, and she's had to postpone.
I Walked into my office and my mic was already set up here on my desk. So I I'm feeling like this is my invitation to go ahead and share this right now while it's all still fresh in my head and heart. And I'm not going to lie, I feel nervous talking about this. If you've been listening to each episode in chronological order, or you've done my online programs, you're in my world in some way, you'll understand the unfoldings of my journey along the way.
But if you're brand new and you're listening to this story fresh with nothing else to frame it with, I don't know what you're going to think. But here we go. Last Friday, I met up with my women's circle here in Madrid. I am very fortunate enough to be in this circle. I was invited in last year. It's a, it's a circle of really spiritual women who meet once a month to openly talk and share, dance, meditate, walk in nature, paint.
Each meetup is different. And I absolutely love that about it. Last Friday, we decided to meet up in the rose gardens at the Retiro park. The rose gardens are completely in full bloom right now, and it is absolutely stunning. And as I was gazing at a particular rose bush, a whole flurry of petals suddenly just swirled off of it and onto the ground.
And I went over and I began scooping up these petals, and a couple of the others in my circle did too. And I remember this young woman saw us and she came over and asked, Why are you doing that? And I said, For the joy of it, with a smile. I don't know if she thought we were going to mix it into a witch's brew or if we had something we were going to do specifically with these petals, but I'm like, just for the joy of it.
So we all went over to find a shady area of grass and we spread out blankets and dropped the rose petals onto the blanket and got into our circle. And we spent hours there. I really lost all track of time. We were talking and sharing, supporting, meditating. And towards the end, Niamh, who is super spiritual, she works fully in this field of spirituality.
She looked at me and she said she had something to share with me, but only if I wanted to hear it. She said, not everyone always wants to hear what I see. And I was like, of course I want to hear. And she said, well, at the very beginning, when, when I was walking towards her in the park, she saw the presence of Mother Mary with me.
And it happened again during our final meditation circle. And I was like, ah, you mean like, as in the Virgin Mary? And she said, yes. And I was like, you are now the second person to tell me this. A few months ago, I had an Akashic reading with Lucy Parnaby and she saw the Blessed Virgin Mother Mary as one of my spirit guides.
And to be honest, I didn't really give it much thought. If she said she'd seen Chief Wonder or Ita, my Native American Indian guide, I'd have been all over it, you know, but the Virgin Mary, she's all too tied up in religion for me. In fact, my own mother is named Virginia Mary. When my very Catholic grandma was pregnant again, having given birth to all boys, she knelt down and she prayed to Jesus.
If you bless me with a daughter this time, I will name her after the Blessed Virgin Mary. So that's how my mother got her name. And I just never took to religion in any way, and I've not practiced it in my life. And I'm thinking about this now, but just last week I was back in Alicante again to see my mother.
And we went to look inside of a cathedral. We were discovering new parts of the city we haven't seen yet. And my mother stopped in front of the altar to the Virgin Mary. And she asked if I had a Euro coin to light one of the electronic candles to honor her namesake. And I scrounged around in my coin purse, but I didn't have one.
And I whispered to her, it's free to pray. And I looked into the statue of the Virgin Mary's eyes searching for a connection, but I didn't feel anything. So, in the park, when Niamh said this, I did think, Hmm, second person to say this to me. It's time for me to pay attention. Niamh so thoughtfully gifted each of us in the circle with a handmade candle.
I mean, I have to say, I've only ever met Niamh once. It was a dancing one, it was an organized, um, dancing circle and we didn't talk. I never had a chance to speak to her. We didn't get to know each other. And this is only the second time that she's attended one of the same circles that I've been in. So that she had like handmade a candle with my name on it.
And she put different essential oils that she'd intuitively chosen for each of us into our candles. And mine was grapefruit, rosemary and clove. And I just smelled it and absolutely loved it. Um, She also drew a card from her deck for each of us earlier at home, and then she took the time to write out the meaning of each card for each of us.
And again, I was like, I had got tears in my eyes. I told her quite honestly, this is one of the nicest gifts anyone has ever given me. And, you know, here's somebody that I don't know, but she's like read into me and has chosen this card for me and this candle. So. Anyway, our circle ended and everyone made their way off except for me.
I stayed in the park on my own in our spot with the rose petals all around me. And um, on Fridays I do what I call hashtag flow Fridays. And Fridays are the day that I get myself away from my desk and I flow away from my desk. And so that's why I love it that our, our circles always happen on a Friday.
And This time I did have some work to do, but it was work that I didn't need to do at my desk. I had a, a soul plan, a chart to make for a client. I'm actually meeting with said client, um, in a couple of hours today, but I needed to make her soul plan chart and I thought, what a better place to do it than out here, you know, and in nature and in the beauty of the Retiro park in Madrid.
And so I worked on her chart. It was, it was amazing. Um, As I finally gathered up my things and I began walking home, I got the Beatles song, Let It Be, in my head. And I began singing it out loud. There was nobody around. I was like, Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be. Be, and I was just belting this out.
I mean, much louder than what I just sang right now. And then whenever somebody would like kind of come close, I'd sort of just whisper it to myself. And then I'd cut, like, as soon as they passed, I was like letting it out again. I sang this song like all the way home. And the next day I should say, when I got home, actually, I, I read properly Neve's, um, on an orange piece of paper, what she had.
Written about the card, the card that she had drawn for me was called Letting Go. And what she wrote was, Lift up your burdens and allow the divine to free you from them. Allow yourself to be cleansed of anything that's weighing you down. Go into nature. Use the earth element to heal and release all that is stuck or causing any distance from ease.
Mother Earth asks that you release all of your worries, fears, and anxieties. Past traumas and lies to her, trusting that she can take them all. Let go of the past, move forward into deeper self love. Find joy in being your true self. I'll take a sip of water.
And so, the next day I woke up. I still had Let It Be in my head. And I asked our Amazon Alexa, oops, I have to. whisper when I say her name or she kicks off asking me what I want. I asked our Amazon Alexa to play the Beatles Let It Be and as the song was playing the lyrics came up on the screen and for the first time I really saw and heard the lyrics.
When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me speaking words of wisdom let it be and in my hour of darkness She is standing right in front of me, whisper words of wisdom, let it be. And I realized the song was about letting go, letting it be, allowing the divine to free yourself of anything that's weighing you down, just as it said on the paper that Neve wrote.
So I wrote Neve a message yesterday to tell her that I feel a barrier and a resistance to connecting with Mother Mary because she's all tied up with religion, but I am now willing So I wrote Neve a message yesterday to tell her that I feel a barrier and a resistance to connecting with Mother Mary because she's all tied up with religion, but I am now willing to Surrender and let that go to open up and to feel into the essence and energy of her.
And I told her about the lyrics of let it be and how I got that song into my head straight after our meetup and how I hadn't been able to get out of my head. And Niamh replied, maybe she wants to share some words of wisdom with you. For you to pass on or to do something with. So I went on to the insight timer meditation app, my favorite meditation app that I bang on about all the time.
And I typed mother Mary into the search bar. And of course there were a few meditations about mother Mary. And I did one with an open mind and heart. I did a short one. And then I bookmarked another one that was 71 minutes long called Sacred Dreaming with Mother Mary. I figured if I ever woke up way too early in the morning, I could press play on that one.
I mean, 71 minutes? And um, Yesterday, my husband went away on his first business trip since the pandemic. And so I had the whole place to myself in the evening. And I was quite giddy with the possibility of what I could watch on TV without him. I'm scrolling through all kinds of things on Netflix. Like, well, I could watch all kinds of things that he wouldn't be interested in.
And I suddenly remembered they, in my project, we community, just, just a couple of days ago, Neary had posted. about a documentary that she just watched called A Quest for Ascension. She said it had blew her wide open in a really powerful way. Well, this happens to be the subject that Helen Joy Butler and I were meant to be speaking about today, right now at this moment actually, because I keep hearing the term ascension without a proper grasp.
Of what it means in today's world. And I won't go into how it is that I decided to reach out to Helen Joy Butler. We'll talk about that when she does come on the podcast, but I decided I wanted to watch that documentary last night, but I couldn't find it. And I finally realized that it's only available on Gaia TV by subscription.
So I signed up for a seven day free trial of Gaia TV. And I watched this documentary, a quest for Ascension before bed. Well, I'm going to save more about that documentary for when Helen and I reschedule our podcast conversation, but I definitely went to bed with that in my head and in my heart. So I was rudely awakened at 6 20 AM by my cat Mandu this morning, who is a very vocal Bengal.
If any of you are Bengal cat owners, you will know what I'm talking about. He is used to being fed by my husband before my husband leaves for work. And because my husband wasn't leaving for work, he was there meowing outside of my door at full pelt. I was super annoyed that the one morning I wasn't being woken up by my husband, getting ready for work.
I was instead being woken up by the cat. So I was just like half asleep and I just. Just decided just to open up my bedroom door so that Mandu could just hop in and sleep with me for a while and maybe forget about food. And as I was climbing back into bed, I just kind of thought about that mother Mary dreaming meditation that I bookmarked.
So I really sleepily just popped in my earbuds and I pressed play on that meditation and I went on to have the hugest, longest, most vivid, most powerful, lucid dream ever. And astral projection of my life. It was mind blowing. I keep wanting to do a whole podcast episode on dreaming and dream interpretation because I'm so into it but my older dream journals are still stuck in storage in Ibiza and I really want to be able to reference some of those to make the episode complete.
Um, so I'm going to save all of that but I am going to read you what I wrote from my dream journal this morning.
I was lucid and fully aware that I was asleep and yet I met Mother Mary and she held both of my hands. And she touched my heart. And I floated and I moved through colors, layers and layers of different colors. And then I could turn somersaults in the air, weightless like an astronaut in space. I felt completely exhilarated, playful.
I struggled to see her as vividly as I craved. I'd see her face, but then it would dissolve before I could fully take it in. It was more about her presence, her energy, her essence. Transcription I craved a deep connection with her. Yet that also felt evasive. Her hands in mine were the most real part of it, firmly clasped, holding both of my hands.
And I have felt both of my hands being held before in transformational breathwork sessions and guided journeys. It went on and on and on. And because of the continuous voice guidance in my earbuds from the meditation, whenever I'd feel fade back into consciousness and I'd become aware of Kathmandu moving on the bed.
I'd then be guided back to Mary again and it would continue. At one point I went into a dream where I was running my retreat again and I was very unhappy that the chef had made us nothing but lame meat sandwiches with crisps as our brunch. And two women were suddenly at the retreat who were not meant to be there.
One of them began vomiting the meat all over. And another was showering in my room, and I was concerned she'd steal my belongings. And then I was with Mary again. I was guiding her hands to touch each of my chakras one by one. I forgot to guide her to my throat chakra, and we were on the third eye, so I brought her hands to my throat chakra, and then I guided her hands back up to my crown chakra.
And when she touched my crown, the ascension began, and I rose higher and higher and higher. And oh my god, my feet are tingling right now as I'm even Like remembering this dream, it was just like, I just began rising higher and higher and higher. It was just incredible. And then I kept floating between dreams and lucidity.
Finally, I was astral projecting through ceilings and out into the sky above London. I could go and do whatever I wanted, fully aware that I was conscious and in control of this dream state. I wanted to fly over tower bridge in London, but I kept popping out of the ceiling over Battersea power station.
So I'd go back inside and I'd find a different skylight. It was like these little portals and I'd kind of like be floating around in this house. Remember it was like a mansion and I would float around and then I would find another skylight. Skylight and I'd pop out through the skylight and it, I just fly around over the city.
It was fun. It was exhilarating. I seem to recall some closing words of the meditation. Yes, it was about choosing my intentions and dreams and visualizing them and trusting Mary to see them come true. And my mind jumped to several things. It was hard to settle on just one. And so I asked for clear headed focus as I moved more fully into this work.
And to guide me with my next steps and to support me. And I gave gratitude to Mary. And then I slipped into sleep and I woke up at about 8 AM and I just, I, I just don't feel like I can fully begin to describe how lucid this dream was to be fully aware that I was dreaming and to be conscious in my dream.
And I'm realizing that in the past, when I've had lucid dreams or when I've had astral projection, when I've been flying, I realize that I am. And so then the awareness that I am kind of like drops me out of it. And they say that that's the biggest struggle is to kind of keep that don't get overexcited because if you get overexcited, you kind of.
Pop out of it. And that's what happens to me. But I think it was because I had these, this guidance going on in my ears that kind of kept me going like 71 minutes of this. And I really do think that my dream was for like most of that time. I remember the words and I remember going off and then being brought back to the words again.
It was incredible, but it really shows you the power of intention. And of action I'd surrendered, I'd set my intention to connect with mother Mary. And then I took very practical action by finding bookmarking and playing that meditation. And I now feel much more open to connecting. I realized it's all energy, that she's an energetic soul being.
That this is not exclusive to me. Anyone can and does connect with her energy. And I no longer feel that resistance that it has to do with religion. Um, yeah, that's what that, that's what that whole experience last night did for me. I can say hand on my heart now, whereas yesterday I was like, yeah, I really want it to not be about religion, but I just kind of couldn't get past that.
And. And now I feel like, ah, I'm connecting to her soul, to her energy. It's, it's, it's, yeah, like it's hard to explain. Like I said, I haven't had time to process it yet. Um, and I'm smiling because right here on my desk next to the base of my mic stand is a postage stamp. And I had pulled this out of my desk a couple of days ago as a reminder to send my mother a card.
She hasn't received any post at her new address yet, and she's got a little key that opens up a little post box in the lobby of her apartment. And the thought of her every day opening up this post box and not finding anything, I thought, oh, it'll be so nice if she finds something from me, a card. And a couple days ago, I was like, oh, I need to do that.
And so I opened up my drawer where I keep a little envelope of postage stamps, and I just put it out and threw it on my desk. Didn't think anything about what was on the postage stamp, but guess what? It has a picture of the Virgin Mary on it. It's probably a Christmas stamp and it has a halo around her head.
So instead of writing, my mother goes by the name Ginger now, instead of writing Ginger on the card, I will write Virginia Mary and I'll see whether she notices the stamp. So that is my latest story and I invite you to reflect on which parts of it get you thinking about your own life. Where do you need to let it be?
Where do you need to let go of resistance, which worries, fears, past traumas and lies can you let go of so you can move more forward into deeper self love and find joy in being your true self. Thank you so much for listening.